...Come Hear the Music Play; or, Wherein Garrick Learns the Value of a Good Running Gag

By rights the mayhem of actually getting ready for the Cabaret should have put me into a coma, but adrenaline's a funny thing. We had about one hour at home to shove food into the kids, shower, and dress before returning to the Players Club, and we made it with time to spare.

(This is where I brag about how smart I was to have dragged Michael over the bridge from New Jersey very early in our marriage. At that time we were at the Club 3-4 nights per week on average and spending a fortune on then-cheap gas and tolls. It's much nicer to be just 5 blocks away, lemme tell you.)

The Cabaret was structured in two acts with three main performers and several guests, including the pianist, Paul, joining in with some songs. Teddie and Donna could not be more different as performers -- Teddie tends toward the lyrical and heartfelt, and Donna is more comedic and raunchy. Friends of many years, they are great foils for each other on stage. Michael tends toward the vaudevillian with a penchant for the unexpected, and the whole evening sort of rollicks along like a bumpity freight train.

Teddie started out with a few lovely, lyrical songs ("You Ought To Be Here With Me" and "Gainesville") and then Michael swung in to "The Saga of Jenny" with audience participation on the chorus. (By the third song in, most of the audience have downed at least one glass of wine and are starting to feel loose.) That set the stage for two bawdy, comedic numbers from Donna -- "A Trip to the Library" and "The Alto's Lament." By now, the audience is completely won over and feeling no pain. Michael and Donna followed with a duet -- "As Long as You're Happy". The mood softens as our wonderful friend Paul takes over with "Grateful" and "When Sunny Gets Blue."

And then comes my favorite part. Two years ago at his last cabaret, Michael put in a number that Quin and Garrick could participate in, complete with a bit of "business" beforehand. A repeat performance was clearly in order. This time, Michael wrote a bit for the kids where they rushed the stage, demanding to be allowed to perform. Michael "grudgingly" acquiesced, and the kids launched into warm-up exercises including Garrick's recitation of Richard III's big speech ("Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer......."). The audience was howling by the fourth word, and Michael quickly reigned the kids in to perform the song he'd lined up for the three of them -- the Captain's Song from HMS Pinafore, with customized lyrics:

M: I am the father of the family
Kids: And a very good father too!
M: You're very very good,
and be it understood,
I am proud of both of you.
Kids: We're very very good,
and be it understood,
Quin: he is proud of me --
Garr: me, too!

And so forth -- you get the idea. It was just as heart-tugging-ly, disgustingly adorable as it sounds. They continued for two verses and two choruses, by the end of which the audience were collectively headed into sucrose overload. Thank god for Michael's sister, who went on next with a very dry and sardonic stand-up routine -- the perfect chaser to all of cuteness that had preceded it. Act One came to a rapid conclusion with Michael singing "Jackie" and Donna and Teddie teaming up to sing "For Good" from Wicked.

Intermission was a confusion of raffle tickets, hugs, quick hellos to friends and family, and no potty break. Bad planning on my part! As intermission was winding down, I saw Michael whispering to Garrick off stage left. As the house lights began to dim, Garrick bounded back up on stage and sallied once again into "Now is the winter of our discontent........." Michael leapt up after him and chased him off the stage while the audience howled.

Michael, Teddie and Donna gave a bouncy, upbeat rendering of "It's Been a Long Day", after which it was time for the raffle drawings. Much hilarity as somewhat-inebriated audience members tried to read the numbers off their tickets. Then, while Michael and I distributed baskets and had our backs to the stage, Garrick, without ANY prompting at all, jumped back up on stage for another try: "NOW is the winter of our discontent..." Michael had a very hard time keeping a straight face while chasing him down, and the audience positively fell about. Garrick has therefore ALL BY HIMSELF learned the first rule of the Running Gag: it is much funnier in sets of three than in sets of two.

The next few songs brought the mood to a somewhat more serious place -- if you consider a love song sung by John Hinckley and Squeeky Fromme serious. Liz and Chris, guest performers on loan from the Mainstage production of Steven Sondheim's Assassins, sent chills down my (and everyone else's) spine singing "Unworthy of Your Love." Then Chris sang a piece composed by an upcoming young lyricist/composer duo who spent much of their youth at the Players Club. Brian Lowdermilk and Kait Kerrigan are phenomenally talented, and you can hear the song Chris sang here. (Go ahead, I'll wait -- it's worth it!) Last year Kait and Brian had a successful off-Broadway production based on the Henry & Mudge children's books -- they are a pair to watch, for sure.

That was followed by: a novelty number wherein our very game pianist Paul "acted" a scene against an old recording of Don Ameche (don't ask), Donna's lovely renditions of "I Get a Kick Out of You" and "Charmin's Lament," Michael's always tear-jerking version of "Unusual Way," and Teddie's graceful interpretation of a favorite of ours -- "I Can't Be New" by singer/songwriter extraordinaire Susan Werner. If you like standards a la Cole Porter, do yourself an enormous favor and go here to listen to some excerpts from the album I Can't Be New and then order yourself a copy. (If you like other kinds of music, check out some of her other albums -- she's a true musical chameleon.)

Heading into the final stretch, Teddie joined Paul on the piano bench for a rousing rendition of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough," which was followed by a boisterous performance of "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" by Michael and Paul. Michael spent some moments on the necessary thank-yous, and then invited all of the performers back on stage for an audience-participation round of "You've Got A Friend in Me" from Monsters, Inc. for the grand finale.

There you have it. The cabaret brought in $2180 and a wonderful time was had by all. Now, how do I talk Michael into making it an annual event?.........